Thanks to everyone who participated in my oscar contest so many days ago. It was a long, boring night led by an uninspiring host, but what else is new! Dorothy slept through the whole thing, she did not give a fuck. A lot of people are saying that it’s not Neil Patrick Harris’s fault, that we should blame the writers, but I say no way. The host should be a comedian and capable of improvising. Neil okayed those jokes, man. He wanted to say “We could eat her with her spoon.”
As for the contest: Congratulations to the winners!
Brian Bedard
Me
Teddy Laich
And here’s where everybody else fell, according to whatever silly username you have chosen.
Special shout out to my friend David in Detroit for getting dead last. It’s almost statistically impossible to guess wrong so often. For his prize, David will receive shortly in the mail a small, decorative stone.
you were miscast in Gone Girl, too. You dumb bitch.
Brian, our first place winner, is an unknown person to me. He sent his address to collect the prize but declined to be interviewed. He wrote back to say, “No interest in an interview. Sorry.” What a strange and mysterious man! What an unceremonious, curmudgeonly unlover of fun. He will receive a sandwich bag full of tasty nuts and bolts.
make Brian healthy and strong with bolts.
Now, without further adieu, the star of the hour, an exclusive interview with our third place winner, Teddy Laich.
1. Hello Teddy. Who are you? Why do you have my last name? Are we related? How do we know each other.
Hi Molly. I hate describing myself, it always sounds like I’m writing my own eulogy. I’m an artist/animator working at a soulless corporation in Chicago. Last year, some rando on twitter asked us both if we were related to an old soccer player and I started following you because I’ve never met anyone outside of my small handful of extended family members with my last name. We’ve never found a family connection, so we’re not related enough that your crush on me isn’t too weird.
2. What did you do to prepare for my oscar contest? Is this your first time doing an oscar pool? are you surprised or not surprised by how well you did? What incorrect choice do you most regret?
I’ve been fascinated by Vegas betting odds since my friend showed me years ago that you could bet on if the color of Gatorade dumped on the winning coach at the Superbowl or (more recently) if Kanye would interrupt someone at the Oscars. Betting odds are good for finding out the heavy favorites, but I also searched for bloggers making Oscar predictions to help with some of the categories I that I wasn’t sure about. I think that’s a pretty strong foundation for a third-place finish, so I’m not too surprised. I hadn’t seen many of the front-runners in the sound categories so I’m pretty upset that I missed those on a quick guess because I’m a bit of an audio nerd (I drive 20+ miles to a theatre with Dolby Atmos sometimes.)
3. Did you see many of the nominated films this year? What do you think of them.
I saw more of the films this year than I usually do – it seems like more of them were in wide-release before the awards. I really enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel and I’m still a little miffed about Ralph Fiennes not getting nominated for Best Actor.
4. How much did you not enjoy Neil Patrick Harris?
My dad was in the hospital at the time so I didn’t actually get to watch the awards, though I caught some of the highlights online afterward. I know it’s really hard to play to the oscar audience, but I can’t believe Neil did such a BAD job. I didn’t see a single joke that didn’t make me groan. The opening number was cute, though.
5. JLo’s titties.
Meh.
6. What do you think should have gotten more cred?
Besides Ralph Fiennes, I couldn’t believe leaving the Lego Movie out. As an animator I really felt that was a big mistake, though I’d have a hard time removing any of the other nominees. I’m so happy that Song of the Sea and The Boxtrolls got nominated and I really loved Big Hero 6. How to Train your Dragon 2 was the weakest of the bunch as a film AND from a technical standpoint. Shit, I guess that wasn’t as hard as I thought. Also, I haven’t seen Boyhood, but I’ve heard nothing but amazing things.
7. What movies were overrated?
I really enjoyed Birdman and I’m happy that it won some awards, but I don’t think anyone expected it to take home so many. It was a weird year.
8. What are some of your favorite films of all time?
8. It’s a strange choice, but I really love Tron. It’s what made me what to work in animation. Fight Club, The Fifth Element, Rashomon, Back to the Future, Amélie, The Iron Giant, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, and I’ll always have a soft spot for Ghostbusters.
9. What do you think third place prize should be?
I wasn’t paying attention and I didn’t know that 3rd place got a prize until you told me, so I’d be happy with anything. I like getting things in the mail that aren’t bills.
[He’s getting plastic toys.]
10. What question do you wish I would have asked?
I wish you would have asked me about Chris Nolan asking IMAX theaters to delay switching to digital so he could show Interstellar on film. But for your reader’s sake, I’m glad you didn’t.
There you have it! Thanks so much to everyone for playing and I hope we’ll all be alive and well for next year.
